


Snap Him Up

by Catchclaw



Series: Mental Mimosa [261]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternative Universe - Librarians, Brief mention of daddy kink, Inappropriate Work Conversations, M/M, Mildest of Mild Spoilers for Avengers: Endgame, Secret Crush, Steve Doesn't Know How to Flirt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-02-07 12:24:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18620587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catchclaw/pseuds/Catchclaw
Summary: “Rogers, those do nothing for you.”





	Snap Him Up

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Saw Endgame last night and my big (not-really-spoilerly) takeaway: Tony's a fan of Steve's ass.

“Rogers, those do nothing for you.”

Steve stopped in his tracks and pivoted, peering back towards the stacks. “I’m sorry?”

Tony’s head appeared in the aisle, peeking out of the row marked 400-499. “Those granddad pants you’re wearing. Your khakis.”

“They’re Dockers.”

“Whatever. They don’t do a damn thing for your ass.”

Steve felt vaguely affronted. He tucked his clipboard against his chest and crossed his arms. “Who says I want them to?”

“Well,” Tony said. “That’s kind of the problem, isn’t it? What I’m saying is that you should.”

“Why, so you can ogle me? Kind of seems like you don’t need any encouragement there.”

Tony sighed and stepped out with a stack of books in his arms, looking only very vaguely ashamed. “Not me, you dipshit--the new hot guy at the research desk that you were falling all over yourself to impress yesterday. What’s his name? Something Alvin and the Chipmunks-y, right? Buckshot?”

“Bucky,” Steve corrected, feeling heat creep up his neck. “Bucky Barnes, and I wasn’t trying to impress him.”

“Oh, yes you were.” Tony smirked at him. “That patron you took over there for help finding stuff on Underwater Engineering? You sure as fuck knew where that was.”

“Well, yeah, I had a pretty good idea, but I thought--”

Tony snorted. “You thought that said clueless undergrad offered a golden ticket opportunity for you to make eyes at Bucky.”

“I _thought_ ,” Steve said, a little too loud, “that the sooner the students get comfortable with going to him, the quicker he’ll get comfortable in the role, that’s all.”

“You could just ask him out, you know," Tony said, "rather than go all-in on the whole flirty flirt."

“I’m terrible at flirting.”

Steve saw his mistake the moment the words left his mouth; Tony’s bark of triumph only confirmed it.

“My point exactly!" he crowed. "What you lack in verbal acuity, you can more than make for with some really tight pants."

Well, Steve thought, it was barely 8:00 am on a Tuesday and he and his supervisor/best friend were discussing his bodily attributes. Tremendous. “Since when are you an expert on my ass, Tony?”

Now it was Tony’s turn to look affronted. “Since I have eyes, Steven--two of them right here, see? They do, too. And I know what boys like.”

“Boys? Seriously?”

“Hey, Barnes only got his MLS last year, right, which makes him, what, 10 years younger than you? And me, hell, I’m up on him 20 plus; I’d say that makes him a boy in comparison.” Tony grinned, the wicked curve that usually meant something drunk and disorderly. “Which, oh, huh, this is interesting, isn't it? Hmmm--it also makes you a dirty old man.”

Steve’s ears went cranberry, his neck did, because crap, it wasn’t fucking fair that Tony a) knew how to turn his crank and b) did so both with glee and at will. And at work. At least they weren’t open to the public just yet. Jesus.

“Look,” Tony said, “bottom line: you’re never gonna get Mr. Buckshot anywhere near your bed and/or calling you daddy if you don’t something pronto to up your sad excuse for game. And short of a 300-level course in How to Talk to the Hot, Mr. Rogers: I’d suggest you show off that ass.”

“God,” Steve said to himself, to the floor, to the wide, empty tables that would soon be swarming with students. “Goddamn it, Tony. Why the hell does that make sense?”

Tony laughed. “Because I’m a genius. And because if you don’t get your shit together soon, somebody else is going to snap him up, I guarantee you.” Tony rested his chin on the top of the stack and smirked at Steve again, his dark eyes catching the light of the sun. “And who knows, huh? That person might just be me."


End file.
